Ok, so you have recently met someone. You definitely think this is going somewhere but something is niggling you – something feels off. They seem distracted and often “not with you” completely. They are saying they are single and not dating anyone else but you’re not convinced.
Here are some communication red flags that could be telling you that you are not the only object of their affection! In isolation, each of these could be fairly innocent but depending on the combination your concerns may need further investigation.
5 TELEPHONE GIVEAWAY SIGNS THAT THEY MAY NOT BE SINGLE
1. The number they give you goes automatically to voicemail most times: Of course people today are extremely busy and if at work they may switch their phone off or send to voicemail. However, if this also happens outside of work hours then this is cause for concern. If your communication habits include your call going to voicemail and them calling you back on their timescale then I can see why you have concerns.
2. Their number or pic does not show up on Whatsapp: OK I get that not everyone has smartphones these days. Not everyone is into being available for contact on 8 or 9 different mediums. So although on it’s own this is not a red flag - however, if you met via an online dating app (meaning they may well have a smartphone) this could be a sign that you do not have their primary number. If they are on Whatsapp but their profile pic is not available to you this means they either don’t bother with pics or you have not been added to their contact list. Even if you don’t use Whatsapp to communicate, checking their number out could help you find out a little more about your situation.
3. Telephone Conversations are suddenly cut off and when you call back they don’t answer: This can happen if someone is driving or at work but if they say they are chilling at home and you get cut off mid-conversation without hearing back, then this could be a cause for concern. Happening once is not an issue but if there is a pattern to the phone cutting off only to call back and it just rings or goes to voicemail, then either their phone has a dodgy battery or someone may have entered the room who they cannot talk in front of. If there is no contact until the next day, then the latter is looking like a real possibility.
4. They only seem available between 8 and 6 for phone conversations: Does the communication flow easily with flirty text messages and lunchtime catchup calls but go cold after 6 pm – often reduced to the odd text now and then and no response to your messages? If so just like red flag no 3 this will ring alarm bells!
5. When they are with you they seem on edge when their phone goes off: Are they constantly checking their phone whilst you are chilling together? Is their phone always on silent and do they have to go outside to make a call? Have you woken up in the middle of the night and seen them secretly texting? One of these may be irritating but all of them then this person may have something to hide.
Each of the above issues in isolation will affect the quality of your communication and at least raise red flags with regards to someone’s interest or availability! However, if your communication suffers from a combination of 3 or more of the above then it’s likely that you have an issue that requires further investigation.
If none of these are the case but you still have the niggles or you want to investigate your concerns further, go take a look at Part 2 of Single Or Not for more potential red flags.
Articles that TJ writes for The Love Coach cover all steps in the cycle of love and include tips and advice for many dating or relationship issues. Her experience as a Love Therapist, Love Coach and Life Coach bring a real-life approach to everyday situations Remember life is for loving – that includes yourself!