Returning Joy to Your Marriage

Published on

September 28, 2020

TJ Gibbs

We do not save these exercises, or send them internally or anything (unless requested). But do understand that they can be helpful for you to refer back to. If you’d like to fill in this form, we’ll email you a copy.

Marriage is often considered a happily ever after – but we know in reality it isn’t that simple. Blindly running forward as though the happily ever after comes together when you need it can lead to heartache and disillusionment. So how do we get the love back? One way to return the joy to love is by remembering what we loved about them to begin with.

Marriage is often considered a happily ever after - but we know in reality it isn't that simple. Blindly running forward as though the happily ever after comes together when you need it can lead to heartache and disillusionment. So how do we get the love back?

One way to return the joy to love is by remembering what we loved about them to begin with.

Make a list of the wonderful and unique traits that drew you to your partner initially
The Friendship Foundation
For love to grow, it needs a basis of a friendship to begin.
Are you friends with your spouse?
How can that friendship be strengthened?
How can you support your partner's emotional, creative, and spiritual growth?
How do you support each others dreams and goals?
A Few Thoughts to Keep Your Marriage Energised
There are ways to reignite the passion in your relationship. You can do something new sexually, go on a romantic holiday, or talk to each other about your challenges. You can recreate the romance by doing the things you used to enjoy doing together. It could be going to the park or the cinema, or just taking time to have a heartfelt talk.
Take care of your appearance. Nobody wants to be greeted by someone who is unkempt, smelly, or not interested in self-care.
Have you done any of the things you used to enjoy doing together? List the things you've done to keep your marriage fresh. What are some more ideas you'd like to try?
Effective Methods for Inevitable Conflict and Resolutions
We all get into patterns of behaviour that can be damaging to our relationships. Perhaps you're used to acting needy or blaming your partner for their mistakes, even exaggerating them. Maybe you lecture them. Or you could be trying to pressure them into changing by enlisting the support of your friends or your children.
Remember that none of these strategies will help you!
How can you break away from negative ways of behaving with your spouse? What positive actions can you substitute for the negative behaviours?
Marriage Counselling
If both partners are willing to commit to counselling, and both genuinely want their marriage to work, then the process is often very beneficial. For counselling to be successful, you also need to find the right counsellor for you. If both of you share similar spiritual beliefs, the advice of a spiritual mentor may be your best option.
Are you considering marriage counselling?
If yes, what area of your relationship needs help? Is it communication, money issues, sex, time management, child-rearing practices, or the strain from extended family? Is it a combination of these? What other conflicts would you like to resolve? Clarifying your specific conflicts will help you and your spouse get the most benefit from counselling.
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We do not save these exercises, send them internally anything. But do understand that they can be helpful for you to refer back to. If you'd like to fill in this form, we'll email you a copy (doing so will save a copy on our servers but they are not reviewed)
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