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Would You Date Yourself?

They say that opposites attract – but do they then drive each other mad!!??.

It is highly likely that your soul mate is looking for many of the qualities in you that you are looking for in them.  It is therefore important that before you meet them you ask yourself “Am I exuding the qualities that I am looking for in someone else?  “Am I putting out that which I hope to receive?

Raising the question of how much you are matching up to your own needs is kind of equivalent to asking “Would I want to date myself?”

When dating, people are often looking for something that they feel is missing, One of the reasons many relationships ultimately fail is that people go into them hoping that another person will potentially fill a void of happiness. 

Often they give up their own power to seek this happiness, make them feel more alive, more in control or more desirable, and instead put that expectation for change on the other person. They may even put their dreams to get fit, go to Thailand, leave their job etc, on hold until they are in a relationship that will magically bring them the confidence to go after their goals.

These expectations can ultimately set a relationship up for failure as either the other person is not able to instil that confidence or the lack of confidence gets taken advantage of.

Knowing where you are at with both life and love right now is fundamental to understanding what needs to change to maximise the potential of your next relationship. Claiming your own happiness and confidence is the key to attracting the person you are looking for and being the best version of you improves the chances of keeping that relationship healthy.

It is not unusual, when working with clients on profiling the qualities they are looking for in a Soul Mate,  that they discover that they are lacking in some of their desired qualities themselves. Some may expect others to be open, honest, fun loving, financially stable and adventurous in the bedroom. However, they themselves are avoiding their own financial issues, are always working. –  leaving no time for hobbies and friends, and ultimately come to the realisation that they are not being emotionally honest with themselves.

For many, it is a “Eureka Moment” when they truly comprehend how their focus on the actions of the other person to bring them happiness is nowhere near as effective as committing to changes for themselves.

There is no time better than right now, as you are reading this, to begin carrying out an assessment of your life and love happiness and committing to yourself to make improvements in the areas that you are currently avoiding.

Taking stock and account for how you yourself are currently showing up in your relationships will automatically promote the onset of change,

As you begin to become that which you want to attract into your world there will be no doubt that not only would you say hell yes to the question of “would you date yourself?” but someone else is going to be extremely pleased they did!


TJ Gibbs

TJ Gibbs

Articles that TJ writes for The Love Coach cover all steps in the cycle of love and include tips and advice for many dating or relationship issues. Her experience as a Love Therapist, Love Coach and Life Coach bring a real-life approach to everyday situations Remember life is for loving – that includes yourself! TJ x

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