Will a Friend-with-Benefits Work for you?
You may be single right now but are you actually ready for a relationship?
Sexual intimacy doesn’t necessarily include emotional intimacy and during phases of the love cycle, you may find yourself craving for something less intense. This phase can often follow a breakup, a divorce or a stage in life where the focus needs to be on your own needs not those of others emotionally.
This is not a place for judging yourself or others. Many have considered the merits of causal sexual connections. It is common enough that there is a whole language around this concept including Booty Calls, One Night Stands and Friends with Benefits. You can explore more about the love cycle including which love-style you are currently operating in Get Ready For Love. If you are not sure if you are ready for a relationship right now take our Wheels of Life & Love Quiz to find out.
If you simply know, or the Wheels show you, that you are NOT ready for commitment then you may be questioning if a “Friends with Benefits” situation might work for you? Here is a short quiz/feedback to help you decide. Score yourself according to your answers (Yes, Maybe or No) and then total up your scores:
Answer Yes (3 Points) B: Maybe (2 Points) C: No(1 Points)
- Are you ok with the concept of casual sex?
- Are you confident enough in yourself to choose your sexual partner and not be chosen?
- Do you feel you can divorce sex from love?
- Are you ok with a connection that does not cater for your emotional needs?
- Is companionship, fun and laughter more important to you than love right now?
- Are you able to control feelings of jealousy or insecurity?
- Are you ok with non-committed planning or last-minute hook-ups?
- Are you comfortable with other’s perceptions re Booty Calls or Friends with Benefits?
- Are you prepared for this situation to only be about sex?
- Are you comfortable that you cannot guarantee the OP is not seeing others?
The higher your score the more likely it is that a Friends With Benefits situation may work for you. Those scoring 10-15 it is likely that any form of casual liaison is not your thing. For those scoring 15-20 careful consideration is required before acting in haste – casual sex for some can be emotionally damaging. For those scoring 20-25 then it is likely you have been here before and know what it’s about but are in 2 minds if it is where you are at – as offered earlier take the quiz and find out. For those scoring 25-30 you are in the Friends With Benefits Zone – you are comfortable that this is where you are at right now.