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The Single Valentine

man walk

Although Valentine’s day is traditionally a day for lovers to celebrate each other there is a growing trend of singleton’s investing in self-love on Valentine day’s. 

Last year two-thirds of women planned to celebrate Valentine’s even if they didn’t have a partner in their lives. Men have often been so busy thinking about pleasing someone else on Valentine’s that they have considered what their own needs are for love.

Self-love is a pre-requisite to the success of your next relationship and can make the difference in this being the best relationship you have so far. 

We teach others how to love us by how we treat ourselves, so what better time for a singleton than at Valentine’s to assess and invest in the concept of self-love. 

Many are puzzled by how to recognise self-love – especially if they are devoid of it. 

So let me shine a little light on some of its components:

  • Self-love is the unconditional feeling of acceptance of who you are right now. 
  • It is that place of peace allowing you to evolve, grow and change. 
  • It is the acceptance that you may need to get things wrong – in order to understand what is right for you. 
  • Self-love does not judge you, it does not criticise or put you down. 
  • Self-love lifts you up guiding you gently towards the unknown in the knowledge that it has your back. 
  • Self-love has a voice that stands up for your needs and desires.
  • Self-love believes in your entitlement to receive love and to express your opinions and concerns. 
  • Self-love does not wait until you are driving your dream car, get that promotion or get in shape to love you, it is with you regardless of achieving your goals or deciding to explore new ones. 

Does this all sound familiar? Are these not the things that you may have been seeking or giving exclusively to others whilst neglecting yourself? 

Self-love is the fundamental building block that needs to be in place to build a healthy relationship with another. You cannot expect someone else to give you something that you will not give yourself. It is your job to love you and a potential partner’s choice to join you as you reflect and share from that place of love. 

So rather than lament the lack of a special someone in your life this valentine’s day why not utilise the day of love to reflect on what you truly want from a future relationship. 

Here are 8 acts of self-love that you could consider investing in this Valentine’s day to both give you time for reflection and as a sign of how much you really care about yourself.

  1. bathGrab a bottle of bubbly, some candles and soak in a bubble bath as you consider 3 important things that you have learnt from your last relationship.
  2. Book a Spa day for yourself and reflect on what past partners have really appreciated in you.
  3. Take a day off from work, put your phone on silent and have a “You day”. Gift yourself all the love that you would willingly gift to another.
  4. Settle down with a personal development book or course and take some time out to reconnect with who you are and how you tick.
  5. Take a long country walk and take in natures beauty as you reflect on what you would want to see differently in your life this time next year.
  6. Spend some time on Valentine’s day researching that amazing trip you always promised yourself and if you are really feeling loving – book it!
  7. If you know you are struggling with heartache – research and reach out to a professional that can help you move on from past pain and get ready to love again.
  8. Buy yourself something that reflects the love that you can wear when you need that extra boost of self-love, a piece of jewellery or a watch maybe.

This Valentine’s day reflecting on your future needs and Investing in the time, energy or money to fall back in love with yourself could make all the difference between arriving and surviving or thriving in your next relationship.

Remember that life is for loving – and that includes yourself x


TJ Gibbs

TJ Gibbs

Articles that TJ writes for The Love Coach cover all steps in the cycle of love and include tips and advice for many dating or relationship issues. Her experience as a Love Therapist, Love Coach and Life Coach bring a real-life approach to everyday situations Remember life is for loving – that includes yourself! TJ x

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