Is My Partner Cheating?

The statistics of a recent poll on Infidelity carried out by IllicitEncounters.com and Onepoll, show that 18.3% of women and 25.4% of men have cheated on their current partner at least once and show that cheating is no longer just the domain of men.  With the fact that more women are in the workplace than ever before and with the rise in online profiles and downloads of dating apps it has never been easier for either partner to access someone to flirt, meet or have an affair with.

For many who have been cheated on previously they are constantly looking for evidence that their partner is unfaithful however there are some who may presume it wont happen to them…but have a niggling doubt somewhere in the gut that all is not as it should be.  If you are having to ask your partner if you are “ok” then something is telling you maybe your not.

So what could indicate that all is not as it seems? Here are 7 signs, based on changes in behaviour, that could indicate a partner is cheating…on their own they may be nothing but a few added together may mean you need to look further into how your relationship is really going.

1. Their online Whatsapp status shows them online a lot more – when before they hardly used the app.
2. Do they cause meaningless rows so that they don’t have to go to particular events or encourage you to go to events without them.
3. Are they suddenly being overly nice allowing you to watch whatever you want on tv, buying you gifts, asking if you would like to go out to your favourite restaurant – for some having an affair can make them act happier in their life….or guilt can make them try to make it up to you subconsciously
4. Maybe the opposite is true and they are constantly picking fault with you or accusing you of cheating – once someone has successfully cheated undetected they start to think if they could do it why cant you
5. As the study shows that most affairs start in the work place… is your partner suddenly attending more leaving do’s or working on projects that mean they have to work late into the evening or are doing “overtime”
6. Do they change their grooming routine…suddenly start dressing sharper and trendier and take more of an interest in their appearance and hygiene
7. Has their sexual appetite or interest changed, for some having an illicit affair increases their sex drive and their zest for sexual adventure.. for others it can decrease it as guilt sets in

As I said it is not the act alone that you consider but how it deviates from the normal patterns of your partner.

Obviously trust is fundamental in a relationship but the above stats show that for some, cheating is a risk they are willing to take.  I  note cries of “why have they done this I thought they loved me” when infidelity is exposed….cheating is never about the other partner its always about the person who is cheating.  ….not being honest with each other about the needs in a relationship can lead a partner to seek that “being themselves” elsewhere even if they love you.  This is not a justification but an explanation as to why indeed they may love you yet risk losing you.

For many an affair would be the end of their relationship however for some this could be the beginning of a more meaningful relationship where you can begin to be honest with each other about what you really need  rather than accessing it from someone outside the relationship.