Happy relationship – it’s the holy grail, right? It’s no secret that relationships are hard work! It takes time, commitment and a lot of patience to build a happy and healthy partnership. When it comes to relationships, we spend a lot of time focusing on the big things — but often it is the small gestures and habits that make all the difference. Here are 19 incredibly simple secrets to a loving and fulfilled relationship.
For every criticism that you dish out to your partner, counter it with five compliments. Social scientists believe that one criticism requires five compliments to undo the damage. Be kind.
If you said you would empty the dishwasher, get milk on your way home, or be back by 7:00, then make sure you do it! Your partner needs to know that they can trust you to fulfil your commitments.
Raking through old ground only reopens old wounds and brings up feelings of hurt and regret. Put mistakes behind you and concentrate on the future.
It is important that they feel heard and respected. Wait patiently until they have finished speaking before you make your point. It’s essential that you make space for communication in a happy relationship.
Just as you schedule work meetings, social events or fitness classes into your week, make sure you schedule time with the person you love. Whether you are enjoying a film night together, a romantic meal or just a catchup chat on the sofa, sticking to that ‘together time’ is what matters. Life can be hectic, but finding time for each other is crucial to a happy relationship.
Instead, address behaviours. If your partner frequently leaves dirty clothes on the floor, it’s far more effective to request they put them in the basket than accuse them of being a slob. Personal attacks only breed hurt and resentment.
Doing things together that you both enjoy is a great way to become closer. Dedicate time to planning fun activities together that you both love to do. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.
Nobody is perfect, including your partner. Relationships are hardly ever 50-50, but things have a way of evening out over time. Keeping score will only make you both resentful and bitter.
Don’t let petty disagreements dominate your relationship. If you can agree on the big things, then the little things are just a distraction.
Sending a gift or a special note lets your loved one know they are in your thoughts, even when you aren’t together. Don’t just stick to flowers and chocolate — think of something your partner would really love that is unique to them. Making your partner feel special and loved is one of the best things you can do for your relationship.
Nobody wants to feel like they are being checked on. Stay out of your partner’s personal email and social media accounts. Just like you, they need space to be an individual — so give it to them.
At least once a fortnight, get out of the house and go on a real date. Every couple needs quality time together, but it doesn’t happen by magic. Make a plan and stick to it.
It is never acceptable to ridicule or insult your partner, but it’s especially damaging when done in public. If your partner has upset you, wait until you’re back home and discuss it calmly and respectfully.
Changing someone else is challenging, if not impossible. But you can change yourself and your behaviours for the better. Ask yourself what you can do to strengthen the relationship.
Concentrate on the best aspects of your partnership and celebrate whenever something good happens. Positivity breeds positivity. Happy relationships don’t spring up on their own.
Once the initial buzz of a new relationship fades, your happiness levels usually return to their prior state. There’s much more to happiness than your relationship.
Taking the time to phone your other half is enough to make them feel important and loved. Even if you only have time for a quick hello, the fact that you cared enough to call will make all the difference to their day. We can all spare 5 minutes to call our partner, so take the time to show them you love them. This could be the difference between an unhappy and happy relationship.
Jot down one thing each day that your partner has said or done that makes you feel grateful. Love her smile? Appreciate his silly sense of humour? Write it down! Taking time to notice the positive traits in your partner will help you to appreciate them more.
Settle down on the sofa and spend some time relaxing in each other’s company. Why not order your favourite takeaway? You don’t have to go to a fancy restaurant to spend quality time together. A pizza at home can be just a special!
A successful relationship comes from valuing and respecting each other every day. Taking care of your relationship is like taking care of a garden. You may need to take out the weeds, but only so the flowers can bloom! If you nurture and care for your relationship, it will grow into something beautiful. Give your partner the attention, respect and love they deserve and watch your relationship flourish!
Articles that TJ writes for The Love Coach cover all steps in the cycle of love and include tips and advice for many dating or relationship issues. Her experience as a Love Therapist, Love Coach and Life Coach bring a real-life approach to everyday situations.
Remember life is for loving – that includes yourself!