You’ve been told that you are the only one they are dating but you just can’t shift the feeling that there is someone else in the picture. How sure are you that you are being lied to? Is it just a feeling right now? Do you have concrete proof?
If it is just a feeling it is important to analyse your feelings a little further and see if you have just cause to feel this way or whether it may just be a case that you are feeling a little insecure about yourself or your relationship. You may already have done some sanity checking via our Single or not Part 1 and Part 2 blogs where you reviewed and analysed 10 potential red flags.
If either you know for sure you are being lied to about being the only one or both your gut and your sanity checking are telling you that this is a high probability what next?
The following are 5 possible routes to choose from.
5 CHOICES FOR DEALING WITH A POTENTIAL LIAR
End It and Move on: Depending on how into them you are will dictate if this really is an option. To carry out any of the remaining 4 actions below is going to take your energy and play with your peace of mind – so are they worth it? If the answer is no and you are really not that into them then why spend the energy – end it and move on. You don’t have to be 100% sure and don’t have to get into the details as not being at peace with where something is going can be too much hassle. Don’t get caught up with wasting your time proving you are right as this will detract from you moving on to the next relationship where all these doubts will not exist.
Watch Wait and take note: If you feel the relationship could go somewhere but it is showing a few red flags or you may have a tendency to think the worst of people, then a little more time may be needed. Bank your suspicions and ensure that you focus your awareness on them. However, if you have identified numerous red flags or the few you have to continue to remain an issue then options 3 & 4 could be your next move.
Find out more info externally – Build A Case: Many liars are skilled at their art and letting them know your suspicions without having done your homework may help them to cover their tracks. If your suspicions are @ 75% or more then it really is time to move onto action 4. However, if they are lower it might be beneficial to do some digging before you take any action. Check out their social media streams as a great source of information. Some would say if you have to go this far then it’s over but many who have been cheated on previously carry that baggage with them and can look for problems that don’t exist. Looking out for your own emotional interests is not a bad thing – you are your own best friend! However, don’t go searching for things if you are not ready to take action when you find them. If you really don’t want this relationship to end – regardless of what you find out – then you are probably going to go straight to Option 5 anyway.
Go to the source – ask them: If you are being lied to then jumping straight from option 2 to this option may actually not be that beneficial if you don’t go prepared. Check out our upcoming blog on “How Do I Confront A Possible Cheat” for some tips on how to get the best from this conversation.
Ignore and hope it all goes away: This is a highly favoured option for some people. If you know you are someone who tends to bury their heads in the sand you are probably also someone who is very aware of heartache. Whenever we do not emotionally protect ourselves we are at the mercy of those who do not have our best interests at hand. You may subconsciously know that you are sharing your date’s time and affection but on a conscious level, you may decide to ignore it. This is, of course, is your right, however, a word of warning – even if the other person in the picture disappears you will always doubt whether you are enough. You are settling for whatever you get and will therefore probably not be ready for what you truly deserve in love and relationships.
Articles that TJ writes for The Love Coach cover all steps in the cycle of love and include tips and advice for many dating or relationship issues. Her experience as a Love Therapist, Love Coach and Life Coach bring a real-life approach to everyday situations.
Remember life is for loving – that includes yourself!
I have worked with TJ even though i didn't particularly feel that I had issues in relationships I thought I...read moreI have worked with TJ even though i didn't particularly feel that I had issues in relationships I thought I would give it a try as i was intrigued. It was a massive eye opener to discover patterns in my behaviour and it really helped me to understand myself better and form better relations with people in my life. TJ is very professional, compassionate and I thoroughly enjoyed our sessions together.read less